I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
