I bet he comes in French.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
