Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
