dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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