This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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