i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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