everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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