I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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