It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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