We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
