I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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