I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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