i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
