i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
