I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
