That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
