summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
