Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
