wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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