You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
