Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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