but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
