at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
