yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
