I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
