My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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