oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
