Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I am midnight drunk by noon
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
