Is it normal to miss your booty call?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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