it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
being pregnant is like rehab
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
