Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
