so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
