My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
