Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
