remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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