He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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