Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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