Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
