some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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