Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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