At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
