could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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