Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
