We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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