There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
