So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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