someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
