I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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