based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
