sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
